


You Wanna Get Minecraft Married, Bro?

by yours_truly_dangan_ronpa



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, M/M, Minecraft, Oma Kokichi Being Oma Kokichi, even byakuya and toko, everyone plays minecraft, gigantic hopes peak discord server, leon is a fucking crackhead, this is hella cursed, yasuhiro is his crackhead bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22768216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yours_truly_dangan_ronpa/pseuds/yours_truly_dangan_ronpa
Summary: Leon convinces Mondo and Taka to marry one another in Minecraft. Shenanigans ensue.
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 9
Kudos: 176





	1. Chapter 1

Mondo and Kiyotaka couldn’t believe they agreed to this.

Not two days beforehand, they’d both been playing on Chiaki (Ultimate Gamer) and Chihiro’s (Ultimate Programmer) gigantic Minecraft server. Most everyone at Hope’s Peak Academy used it; doing parkour, building huge skyscrapers, or in the best friends’ case, building a small house and living together in relative harmony.

This whole fiasco started when Leon joined their voice chat on Discord one night when they were all online. “What do you want, stupid ginger?” Mondo grumbled as he was trying to mine diamonds to help Taka make a new chest plate since it got destroyed in one of Kokichi’s most recent explosions. It took them days to fix the building the Ultimate Supreme Leader had tried to destroy.

“Hi Leon,” Taka said through his mic, still busy looking for the rare ore.

Leon only chuckled in response, his voice crackling through their headphones. “Hey, so, me and Hiro had this great idea and I just had to tell you about it,” Leon began, stifling back laughter.

“I found some, Taka,” Mondo spoke into his mic, mining the diamonds so he could give them to Taka when they eventually returned to their house.

“Oh come on, are you two even listening? It’s important!” Leon whined, Mondo groaning loudly.

“I’m listening. What is it, Leon?” Taka responded immediately.

“Well, Hiro and I were talking about how you guys basically do everything together and hell, your Minecraft beds are right beside one another, and we thought, why don’t you guys just get married already?” Leon said proudly, but Mondo was the first one to offer his criticism.

“What the fuck, gingersnap?” Mondo grumbled, pausing his game. “Why would we get married-“

“Just because we’re best friends doesn’t mean we should get married, Leon,” Taka chastised his friend as he made his way out of the mineshaft he and Mondo had dug. His inventory was full and he needed to go put things away.

“In the game, I mean!” Leon blurted. “Like we could build a little church or something and invite everyone to watch! It would be beautiful!” Leon explained further. Mondo tossed the idea around in his head. “We could have a bunch of fireworks, too!”

“That sounds like fun.” Taka said idly, which surprised Mondo.

“You’re actually serious about marrying me in Minecraft?” Mondo asked through his laughter. He too was making his way back to their house. Hopefully nothing had happened to it in their absence.

“Come onnnn, please?” Leon pleaded.

“Fine.” Mondo sighed. “Now will you piss off?” He asked as he heard Leon wheezing on the other side of the line.

“Yeah- I need to go tell Hiro- he’s not gonna fuckin BELIEVE you two agreed!” Leon said, still giggling like a child.

“See ya, Leon.” Taka laughed a little bit too as Leon left the voice chat. Taka and Mondo reached their house and saw that it was still standing, to their surprise.

“Here’s your diamonds, bro.” Mondo said as he dropped them on the floor, Taka picking them up so he could replace his armor.

“Thanks, Mondo,” Ishimaru replied curtly, crouching ingame, as that was the closest to a bow that he could manage.

They played for a little longer before they both signed off for the evening. Little did they know that the next time they came online would be far more interesting.

Two days later came the fateful day; Mondo and Ishimaru decided to play in their own world. They’d noticed that almost everyone, even the antisocial Togami and obsessive Fukawa, were active on Discord but thought nothing of it. Perhaps Kokichi and Nagito were holding a hunger games match again.

However, they quickly learned that there was no hunger games match in the form of a message from their good friend Chihiro.

“Get in the voice channel with everyone in it and join our server please” was what it’d read. They complied with curiosity and were astounded at the number of people running around once the game was done loading. They then joined the voice channel, being suddenly bombarded by the voices and music coming through people’s mics.

“They’re here- everyone get in your places!” Mondo and Ishimaru heard another friend of theirs, Aoi, say cheerfully. They watched as everyone took off across the plains toward a large structure, surrounded by a bunch of different colored flowers and lit with redstone-powered lamps. The excited whisperings of their friends and classmates enticed them to follow, and when they reached the new building, they suddenly realized what was going on.

“Leon, don't fucking tell me you were actually serious about this.” Mondo groaned as they entered what seemed to be a church. The aisle was covered in white carpet and everyone scrambled to take their spot in the pews.

“You can’t back out now! It took us almost two days to set this thing up!” Leon shot back. “Come on, man, do it for the vine!” The redhead giggled like a moron.

“I wrote a whole speech and everything, dude.” Leon’s best friend Yasuhiro said in an attempt to back Leon up.

“This building is actually really nice!” Kiyotaka complimented his friends’ building abilities. “But come on Mondo, it’s all in good fun. You know it’s bad when I have to convince you to relax a little.” Taka did have a point; he was very disciplined and uptight during school hours.

“Fine, fine, where do we go?” Mondo replied as he watched everyone go still in the pews. Leon lead them to the front of their makeshift church and let the fun begin.

***

“Do you, Kiyotaka, vow to share your diamonds with Mondo for the rest of your life?” Yasuhiro wheezed through his microphone as he tried to read the speech he’d written. How fitting was it that the Ultimate Clairvoyant decided to be the priest? A few of their classmates who were watching laughed at the statement before Leon screamed into his microphone to get them to shut up.

“I do.” Taka laughed a little bit before uttering the statement.

“And do you, Mondo, vow to share your diamonds with Taka-“

“I already do, so yes.” Mondo interrupted impatiently. Taka punched Mondo, which made Mondo punch him back. It then turned into a battle when Yasuhiro pulled out his diamond sword and started attacking the two with it in an attempt to get them to stop.

More and more people joined the battle, becoming more and more chaotic as time went on. What they didn’t know was that Kokichi and Nagito were outside placing TNT along the edge of the building.

They lit the TNT with their flint and steel and began to sprint away to avoid the blast. Once they were far enough away, they turned to watch the building explode with everyone battling inside.

Nobody survived except for Kokichi and Nagito. I suppose there was a Hunger Games match that day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi and Nagito are a little more methodical with their destruction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate ending!

“Do you, Kiyotaka, vow to share your diamonds with Mondo for the rest of your life?” Yasuhiro wheezed through his microphone as he tried to read the speech he’d written. How fitting was it that the Ultimate Clairvoyant decided to be the priest? A few of their classmates who were watching laughed at the statement before Leon screamed into his microphone to get them to shut up. 

“I do.” Taka laughed a little bit before uttering the statement. 

“And do you, Mondo, vow to share your diamonds with Taka-“ 

“I already do, so yes.” Mondo interrupted impatiently. Taka punched Mondo, which made Mondo punch him back. It then turned into a battle when Yasuhiro pulled out his diamond sword and started attacking the two with it in an attempt to get them to stop.

The boys stopped fighting and returned to their places, a few of the people talking quietly anf giggling softly through their microphones. After the sound subsided, Yasuhiro cleared his throat to signal silence and continued his touching speech.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you… uh, married? I dont fuckin’ know.” Hiro gave up at the end, followed by cheers and laughter from their classmates. Leon was the loudest, literally just fucking screaming into his mic.

“Shut up!” Mondo and Taka hissed into their microphones in unison, prompting the redhead to stop screeching like an ape.

“I’m sorry, I’m just…” Leon pretended to cry, “So happy for the newlyweds!” Leon’s frankly annoying fit of laughter crackled through everyone’s headphones like the sound of a roaring bonfire. 

“Congratulations!” Chihiro ran up to them and started throwing a bunch of emeralds at them. 

The Ultimate Gamer followed suit, tossing a few gold nuggets into their inventories. “Everyone has to give them a wedding gift! Come over here and give them something!” Everyone followed her order and created a large line, throwing the most random items into their faces. Aoi gave them a pufferfish, Peko gave them a wooden sword, and Ibuki very generously donated her prized dirt block, excavated from the ground just outside the church where she had to get out of line to get because her inventory was empty before the ceremony began. 

“Thanks for coming everyone!” Leon said as he gave Taka and Mondo each a singular diamond. “Wedding’s over. Kokichi, Nagito, you know what to do.” At the mention of the griefers, everyone collectively gasped and after a few moments, vacated the church.  Leon, Mondo, Taka, Yasuhiro, and the two server owners left soon after and made their way up a nearby hill to watch Kokichi and Nagito dismantle the church with unbridled merriment. It had gone up in flames mere seconds after the stragglers escaped, and now Kokichi was inside, detonating TNT. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Chiaki said, almost inaudible over the sounds of destruction. “And they even agreed to not grief for a while if I let them destroy it once we were done.” 

“Really?” Mondo perked up. “How long until those annoying little fucks go back on it though?” He chucked to himself.

“Eh, it’ll be fine,” Chihiro sighed. “I’m working on new anti-griefing measures so they will have a limit on how many blocks they can destroy at once.” 

“Jeez, they really made quick work of that thing,” Leon commented, causing everyone to focus on the nearly unrecognizable structure. It was fragments of wood and mossy cobblestone, large patches of fire strewn across the flooring of the decimated church.  They watched as each block disappeared until all that was left was a huge crater in the ground, with the causes of such devastation standing triumphantly within it.  Mondo and Taka did not regret their decision.


End file.
